The Lava Trolley: March 2009

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


28 March 2009

R.I.P. Jade

the big mouth

"The debate is as polarised as the modes of
mourning for the late Diana, Princess of Wales.

But there two points beyond dispute.
First, everyone has the deepest sympathy for a
27-year-old mother cut down in her prime.
Second, everyone now has an opinion on Jade Goody."

There is no denying the latter, but the former does not entirely convince me. Not when sites like exist.

Even those who don't watch Big Brother (myself included...perhaps I should watch more TV so people would find me less anti-social) know of Jade Goody. You can't help it really, especially when friends so 'obligingly' insist on discussing the reality programmes they've been watching the night before. You turn on the radio, and someone is talking about her. Go to the supermarket, and she is plastered all over most of the magazine covers you walk past. Click on Google News, and there she is again, one of the headliners.

I suppose her in-your-face attitude doesn't help. Every nation has something iconic it can boast about - New York is called the Big Apple; New Orleans, the Big Easy. Us here in the UK? We've got the Big Mouth. (I can't actually claim credit for that line since a favourite teacher of mine once used it on me and my friends. But I don't know what's become of him, so I thought I'd immortalise his words and can think of no one more deserving of that description.) There's just no escape from the lovely Ms Goody. Thankfully, you get used to it, and Jade's delightful antics eventually fade back to become part of life's wallpaper.

"Jade Goody has done nothing and we mean nothing
to enhance life on this planet. She fills the tabloid pages
with crap about herself. She’s an egotistical twat who
can’t have a normal relationship as it would mean she’d
have to share herself with somebody else than herself.
And yet the tabloids still give her their newspaper inches
while they should be giving her 10 inches of red hot
steel up her ass."

Blah, blah, blah...On it goes.

Still, it's all true. Jade is all-of-the-above, a media whore who banks on the only real skill she has - selling pieces of her life to the highest bidder and being an absolute bitch while she's at it. Mind you, like most dogs, Jade Goody is pretty harmless. Just ask Shilpa Shetty. Personally, I thought the Bollywood actress did remarkably well out of the whole sorry scenario.

However, this post isn't really about Jade. I was initially compelled to blog about something entirely unrelated after reading about the Nurse Suspended for Offering Prayer.


I mean, seriously, does the woman in this picture look like she needs "equality and diversity training"? Anti-religion propaganda was finally getting to me, and I thought I'd do something constructive by supporting the right to practise whichever faith we choose (so long as it doesn't involve blowing up civilians, or walking around with our heads stuffed in pillowcases). Down with Political Correctness and all that...But in the end, I decided that the Daily Mail doesn't really need any help in spreading its particular brand of xenophobia.

Jade Goody is far more important of course...or in this case, Jade's critics.

Bless her! Good ole Jade is only doing what Jade Goody does best. Why change the habit of a lifetime just because you're dying? If anything, she ought to step up her efforts to grab whatever she can for her sons. Not like she's got much to lose! But a mother fighting for her children to have the best of everything is only natural, not extraordinary. Thousands of women have found themselves in the same situation...and I'm sure none of them needed a such a well-publicised drawn-out swan song.

Nope, Jade's business doesn't really warrant much concern in the great scheme of things. After all, it's her life (and death)!
What I find incredible are the people so occupied with Jade Goody that they feel the need to dedicate entire websites to her.

"I’m sure Miss Goody is a brave little being, but she sure
as hell is milking all this career prolonging attention.
That is our beef with Jade Goody..."

I thought it was a wind-up at first. Perhaps set up by fans under the impression that all publicity is good publicity, and surely, you can't drum up much more hype than a haterade-fuelled bitch-fest. But wow, some people seriously hate Jade, and truly are offended by her very existence on our planet. (And there I was thinking the worst sentiment Jade could ever arouse was boredom.) They complain about her omnipresence within the media, and yet in the same breath, criticise her lifestyle, speculate upon her death, read her column, lap up stories about her day-to-day activities etc etc. And we wonder why she's getting all this attention?

"Does that mean we want her dead? No, we just want her
out of our newspapers and off our TV screens as there are
more deserving people out there."

My, my, such venom! Want her off newspapers and TV, but the internet is ok...truly! Not want her dead, but having fun at the expense of her predicament isn't in bad, not at all...and wouldn't it be great if she died on the exact day we predicted?

Who are we kidding? This has gone beyond a joke. Jade Goody might be an absolute cow at times, but the kind of animosity she's currently getting is more than a little disproportionate (particularly when there are children involved), and perhaps should also be reserved for
"more deserving people out there"...such as Jack Tweed.

Related Articles:
Jade Goody's Profile
Jade's Last Reality Show
When Will Jade Goody Die - Comments

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