The Lava Trolley: December 2007

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


15 December 2007



"Five young boys who were convicted of causing
a pensioner’s death by pelting him with stones
had their convictions for manslaughter overturned yesterday.

Ernest Norton, 67, suffered a heart attack after
he was attacked while playing cricket with his son James, 17,
at Erith Leisure Park, southeast London, last February."

I was shocked when I first read that those boys had got 2 years, but now I'm downright disappointed...

The poor kids! They must have thought they would also get a holiday to Barbados. I was expecting, at the very least, handouts of Nintendo Wii to help rehabilitate them.

What a disgrace!

I vote for stringing up the lot of halfwits involved in letting these boys walk free - parents, do-gooders, lawyers, judges etc.

Related Articles:
Judge Releases Stoning Death Boys
Manslaughter Verdicts Quashed for Boys who Stoned Pensioner
Father Died 'Trapped In' by Gang

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14 December 2007

We may not get a white Christmas...


...But at least we've got black Magic!

Isn't she just BEAUTIFUL?

We rescued the-kitten-previously-known-as-Baby-Jasmine (a grave error in the naming process as far as we're concerned) from Easterleigh Animal Sanctuary this Monday. We have re-named her Magic, because that's exactly what she is - Magic.

Dunno why, but that name just leapt out at me as soon as I saw her...Maybe it's because she looks so much like a witch's familiar...all sleek, black and shiny!

Magic, her siblings and mother used to live in a pretty abusive household...Thankfully, our kitty was too young at the time to remember things being thrown at her by nasty kids. She is currently 16 weeks old, and though she's only been with us 5 days, I swear I can actually see her grow!

I was actually about to donate some money to Help for Heroes when David asked me what I wanted for Crimbo this year. Since I was struggling to come up with an answer, I thought he could contribute to that charity in my name...But then I remembered that we'd been thinking of getting a cat for ages, so why not rescue one this X'mas and contribute some money to a good cause?

At this very moment, Magic is giving herself a wash on my desk...Already, she's making herself right at home, and has proven to be extremely active and playful. She's very clever, and can move fast...very fast.

Sometimes, it looks like we've got a tiny streak of black lightning zooming round our house...Abracadabra! Now you see her, now you don't! (Oh, this could go on forever!) It won't be long before she starts leaving us little prezzies on our doorstep!

Magic looks most adorable when she gives her wee bottom a little wriggle before pouncing on our feet in bed. She is also extremely affectionate and will greet us when we come home. She even rubs her face against ours and gives us fishy-smelling kisses.

Oooh, look...she's pawing my fingers as they move over the keyboard!

Earlier this evening, I was arrested by the sight of Magic sitting before my monitor, completely enthralled...It didn't take me long to work out she was fascinated by the cursor mouse thingy. Her paws were all over the place, chasing after it! And when I moved the cursor 'off-screen', she actually went round the back of the monitor to investigate!

Aaw, bless her furry little feet!

Magic is not due to be spayed, vaccinated and microchipped for a couple of months, so we're keeping her indoors for the time-being. I have bought her loads of prezzies to make up for this short period of incarceration...



...and various other bits and bobs.


Of course, most things in this house are toys to Magic (a boxful of shredded paper alone can provide hours of endless fun), but I just wanted to spoil her.

Photos our new feline baby (currently snoozing on top of my scanner) have been uploaded, and you can view them here.

We'll probably be videoing Magic this weekend, so watch this space!

UPDATED: 21 December 2007 @ 10:39

Here, as promised, is a video of our little darling kitty's oversteering antics uploaded onto YouTube for the cat-lover's viewing pleasure...Must apologize for the look of our front room as we're still in the midst of re-decorating, and the new sofa won't arrive till next year.

As you can see, Magic's a real minx of a cat, and won't stay still for even a minute.

We still love her though!

Helpful Catty Pud Links:
Pet Protect
Online Pet Products
Pets at Home
Mungo and Maud
Pugs and Kisses
Kitty Collars

PS - Her farts seriously stink up the room!

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02 December 2007

Totally Pointless Post


A few colleages and I had a conversation about pizzas a couple of weeks ago.

No one could see any point in ordering via websites (Domino's in this instance) when you could just as easily use the phone...I know I'm pretty weird as far as human beings go, but surely I'm not the only one who can see the merits of placing my pizza order online?

It has to be said, I received quite a few odd looks explaining myself. Matters were not improved by yet another repeat of Leona Lewis' single playing in the background (lovely voice, but hearing that song over and over again is doing my head in...sadly, the office radio can only tune into one station - shitty Radio Wave - and I happen to sit right next to to that stupid device...If it goes missing one day, you will all know why).

Perhaps my views will come across better over the net, seeing as it's the very vehicle I am recommending as a super food-ordering mechanism. (Plus, I never play commercial radio at home.)

These then, are my 10 reasons we should all order online and henceforth have no excuse to venture out of the house...EVER!

1) You don't need to speak to anyone.

2) You don't need to speak to anyone.

3) You don't need to speak to anyone.

4) You don't need to speak to anyone.

5) You don't need to speak to anyone...Ok, I'll concede further elaboration is required. When I refer to 'anyone', I actually mean - a) people with strange accents you can't understand, b) surly teenagers who would rather be nicking your money than earning it, and c) morons who can barely barely spell 'pepperoni', let alone identify it.

6) You save time by not having to repeat yourself, or risk getting your pizza delivered to the wrong address.

7) If you have your rig on most of the time, it doesn't cost you extra £££.

8) If, like me, you never have enough cash lying around, you can pay by card without having to read out your details.

9) Since you can save your favourites, one-click gets you all you again, you save time.

10) Oh, and I nearly forgot...You don't need to speak to anyone.

So there you go, a little slice of pizza wisdom to get you through your next order...and whilst you're at it, I like mine with double pineapple, chorizo and olives. Thanks.

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