The Lava Trolley: February 2007

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


25 February 2007

Stop Yer Bitchin!


Erm...What exactly am I supposed to be looking at here?

This is why I hate gossip mags...Any point they try to make just goes whoosh over my head.

Am I meant to rub my hands in glee?

I'm sorry, but even looking at their worst (and devoid of any cosmetic enhancement), most celebrities still look miles better than your average woman on the street (which, let's face it, happens to be most of us).

The sooner we resign ourselves to that fact, the happier we would be.

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14 February 2007

It must be love...


...If this had come from any other man, I'd say he was just ticking the boxes.

But nope, this came from my usually oh-so-serious David, who has never ever got me flowers before...Not even a rose from someone else's back garden.

The last time anyone bought me flowers was years ago when I was banged up in hospital, but then you kind of expect that...In fact, I can't remember when any man has ever surprised me with a bouquet of flowers, and this beautiful bunch actually arrived at my workplace (aaaw, a public declaration!) an hour before closing, after David told he was too busy to bother with V-Day.

See, it doesn't really take too much to please us women!

PS - Yes, those violet roses have drunk food colouring. Even plants can be cannibals.

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11 February 2007


"Heavy snow falls have caused travel chaos
for thousands of people across large parts of England."

Lies! All lies!

All these tales of snow-blocked roads, school closures, and sledding must be figments of somebody's overactive imagination (and heavy Photoshop work).

Whilst the rest of the nation (including counties down south) can boast of inches that would put Dirk Diggler to shame, what do we get over here?


Not even the slightest bit of slush...Every fucker else gets to snowboard in their back gardens and build snow-families, but not us.

A few sloppy flakes were the only crumbs that fell off the proverbial table at our end, and all we have to show for it is lots of wind and considerably damp ground.

Guess that's it for now until next year...

What is the whole bloody point of winter anyway?

PS - Please don't give me that tired old excuse...If I hear 'global warming' one more time, I shall scream...And don't talk to me about the west coast getting less snow because of proximity to the gulf stream and the abundance of salt in the air...Just get it to snow here, and I will shut up.

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04 February 2007

Fire in the Hole!


Sexyteen Robson might very well be a middle-aged woman in RL trying to resurrect her youth in SL, but since the very nature of this game obscures the real identity of all players, there's no absolute way of telling for certain.

Nothing gets karate-chopping and fang-baring AOs activated as quickly as the bĂȘte noire of Premium members - profiles with the 'no payment info on file' insignia.

Although many Basic members do end up bearing the brunt of this animosity, it has to be noted that not all of them are unverified entities. As a resident which falls under this category, I have to point out that I spend almost as much Lindens (possibly more) on my in-world pursuits as Premium Second-lifers...and very little of this comes from camping.

Well, that old cliché is true...You have to speculate to accumulate.

The resentment of verified members can be justified, however. Apart from the obvious (such as the prospect of unknowingly engaging in BDSM SIMs with a precocious child), there is all that lag to consider...This mass exodus from 1st to 2nd has got to be very heavy on the grid...

I'd wager that a large proportion of residents online at any one time are really spotty kids seeking cheap thrills because they just haven't the patience to wait for the day they can graduate from Teen Second Life...a lack of discipline which only vindicates the prohibition of under-18s in SL. Personally, I find it debatable as to whether that age is an appropriate cut-off point, but that's another matter entirely.

Let's face it, Second Life doesn't have any official form of strict policing, so it requires some self-control.

We see enough noob activity going on in-world without juveniles trying to spoil the gaming experience for everyone else, simply because they don't know what is or isn't bad form...And there's always the one...

Not so long ago, Davey got jumped on for no bloody good reason whatsoever.

Davey Greene the Aerolite DJ

He was testing out a cute monkey AV which he got for free (see pic above for his usual look), and went around asking some residents if they had any bananas, when some guy (later joined by his girlfriend) started with the abusive name-calling and bitch-smacking...They were virtually sinking their claws into him, so there was a diaspora of body parts and blood (mostly Davey's until I came to the rescue) flying everywhere.

Granted, it was a bit daft of Davey to have been doing that and doubly so, since it's never a good idea to approach anyone sporting blood-stained apparel and sharp talons when you haven't got shields on...

...Thankfully, I did.

So there was a bit of a role reversal going on that night which saw yours truly defend Davey with a few magic spells and caging devices...A particularly novel situation since David's usually the one who bails me out in RL.

Jesus, I really kicked ass that night!!!

Lyondra Eun the Witch Bitch


As far as I'm concerned, the only good thing that came out of that scenario was the discovery of some pretty cool scripting. Those tits didn't even know what hit them (took them quite awhile to work out who as well).

But seriously, the attack on Davey was unprovoked. Any normal person (ok, as 'normal' as can be for someone who spends a percentage of his or her time in SL) would think he's being a bit silly, but not offensive, and hardly deserving of assault.

He's a monkey; it's a role-play game...Get with the program!

Clearly, these people have never heard of Eddie Izzard either.

Anyhow, back to the real issue at hand...

I don't believe there's a good excuse for anyone not to get verified. All SL gamers should do so, if not for any other reason, then based on principle alone. This method may not be fool-proof (I have to admit it's not all that difficult to nick Daddy's credit card), but it's a start in the right direction...

Everyone benefits from it, and the risk you take is no higher than opening a RL bank account in the high street. Second Life takes no money from you without your prior consent. However, if your main concern is resisting the temptation of buying Lindens, that is not anyone's problem but your own.

An aggressive campaign to get everyone verified (or GEV for short!) is long overdue, but since no one thus far has got the balls to do it, I will...If you want summat done, you gotta do it yourself.

There is only one objective:
Basic or Premium - All accounts should be verified...NO EXCEPTIONS!

IM me if you want to sign the petition...Leaving my 1st life in the next few minutes, but you can always reach me wherever I am, even in RL.

...Now morphing into Lyondra Eun.

Lyondra-Charme Morph

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