The Lava Trolley: January 2007

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


22 January 2007

New-de Stuff


Oooh...look...'tis my bottom!

That and other bits of me (captured on film!) can now be found at my homepage to kick-start my 30th year.

Argh! The big three-oh...Looks like it's all gonna be downhill from now...But still, not bad for an old trout, eh?

Anyhow, this blog isn't just about me...


Photos from Zhouyi's birthday and our holiday in S' year, have also been uploaded...Well, some of them anyway. Yes, I know...I am very unreliable.

But seriously...look, face, bothered?

Here's something you should really give a shit about though...

Yeap, stop watching reality TV or scanning the headlines for CBB news (whatsherface is out; it's not racism; they're all dumb chavs; what did you expect?).

Your time would be better spent saving the planet by making yourself look pretty.


Or, paying to look at photos of some lovely models.

This isn't as shallow as it would be under normal circumstances, because the tops featured in these pictures also raise awareness for the conservation of animals, whilst the moolah from subscription fees goes towards their protection...And it's not just any wildlife, but those we tend to overlook because they don't make us go "aaaaaw".

I'm a bit partial to bats myself (perhaps I read too many vampire novels), but if you're like me and some of the other creatures make your skin crawl, at least think of the bigger picture...Their extinction would cause more damage than you could imagine.

There's more to the eco system than cute little bunny wabbits and baby seals.

So while you're drooling over the hotties at Sexy Conservation, keep in mind that it's only eye-candy and remember...

...ALL life is beautiful.

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17 January 2007

From the Mouths of Babes


Oops! I did it again.
I played with your heart;
Got lost in the game.
Oh baby, baby.
Oops! You think I'm in love.
That I'm sent from above;
I'm not that innocent.

It's not exactly the sort of song you'd expect to hear belted out by a 6-year-old girl, particularly when said child is one of your own...So you can imagine my horror when Zhouyi suddenly launched into an impromptu (and highly accurate, complete with dance moves à la Pop Idol) rendition of Britney Spear's single whilst we were out shopping one day.

No one in our household is a fan of Miss Spears, let alone any similar produce (I hesitate to call it music) which passes through the Pop Factory's conveyor belt, and I'm pretty sure I've not heard this song on the Disney Channel (though you never know)...So where else could our girl be getting all this influence from?

And then it hit me, baby, one more time - the internet strikes again...Or rather, big corporations who will do whatever it takes to entice tots who don't know any better because the concept of responsibility is alien to them.

Now, just let me get one thing straight...Zhouyi's web-surfing is supervised, and she's only allowed to visit sites which are considered to be suitable for young kids. So, the last thing you expect when your daughter is on a trusted child-friendly (allegedly) website, like the homepage of Barbie, is an all singing all dancing tutorial on how little girls can enrapture or manipulate their current beau with sexual wiles.

This is just several sequins (and lipstick, and blusher, and mascara...the lot) too close to the JonBenét Ramsey culture for my comfort.

"A 'sexy' pole-dancing kit has been pulled
from the toys and games section of a website
run by Britain's biggest retailer
after protests from outraged parents."

Personally, I can't understand why children this young are shopping online in the first place, but it was still a little unethical for Tesco to have it in their Toys & Games section, an area quite clearly reserved for browsing of a more innocent sort.

"This should only be available to the most
depraved people who want to corrupt their children."

Then again, surely no parent in his or her right mind would be impressionable enough to even consider buying this for anyone under the age of 18.

Fair enough, kids will eventually uncover taboos as they grow up, but why encourage them this early on?

I don't know about you, but I find the notion of kids being introduced to adult privileges before their time greatly disturbing. When the sale of kiddy tees sporting FCUK logos and Playboy bunnies is accepted as mainstream, you can't help but wonder if the building blocks of decent upbringing somehow got buried up in the proverbial loft along with all the old Lego toys and Golliwogs.

Suffice to say I'm too disgusted to find words appropriate enough to express my mortification...Let's just say Mattel can soon expect a letter with language that will most definitely be 'not so innocent'.

Related Articles:
Outcry over Tots Pole-Dancing Kit
Tesco Condemned for Selling Pole-Dancing Toy

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10 January 2007

SL Odyssey


Aaaw...This always makes me giggle...Bless the Linden Lab creatures!

There's enough banging around going on in-world, but let's hope this is more constructive than what we're used to!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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