The Lava Trolley: The Anne Geddes Nightmare Come True

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


27 May 2006

The Anne Geddes Nightmare Come True


I find this advert vaguely disturbing, in a sinister Cassius Coolidge-meets-Ira Levin in motion pictures kind of way.

Like, what's it trying to say? That only a baby has what it takes to discern velvety softness in toilet tissue? Or that large companies are actually run by kids who know crap? If it's the former, what's wrong with the usual commercials of the Johnson's Baby No-More-Tears genre?

...You know the type I'm on about...

Personally, I'm more inclined to believe the latter...I mean, seriously...Are people supposed to rush out to buy their product after being creeped out by this? On second thoughts, don't tell me...I'm almost afraid of the answer...

After all, if dogs can sell insurance, surely baby executives can prevail upon us the importance of toilet tissues that are gentle on skin.

Maybe I just have insufficient receptors vital in the transmission of certain media (specifically those that require the general lightening of pockets)...I can't help but anticipate the Omen theme tune each time this ad is shown...

I'm convinced the Kleenex Baby Entourage is really a demonic cult bent on taking over the world...Makes sense to start from the bottom, and there's no better place than the lavatory. (Of course, why has no one thought of this before? First, bathroom condiments. Next, chemical warfare. You see the relationship?) Nothing else explains the near-vacant looks on those faces that gaze adoringly upon the unlikely Cherub in Armani...

I shudder to think what its parents must be like...But wait, does this thing have parents? I can't decide what's worse - a fiendish changeling from some alternate Telytubby reality, or a brainwashed toddler Pied-Pipered away from his loving family.

I'm not even going to ask what this toilet paper's made of...

PS - Woohoo! Two blogs in a day! I'm on a bog roll here...sorry, blog, BLOG, I mean, blog roll...No, that's just too confusing...Look, let's just say I've gone on a blogging spree and leave it at that, ok?

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  • At 4/6/06 16:05, Blogger ChrisWoznitza said…

    Hi ich bin Chriswab aus Bottrop. Viele GrĂ¼sse !!

  • At 4/6/06 18:27, Blogger Charme said…

    Erm...It would help if this were in English...Still, with the aid of the ever-helpful Babel Fish Translator, I managed to decipher your message enough to find out that you call yourself Chriswab from Bottrop, and that you send your 'many greetings'.

    The word 'hi' got me a wee bit confused, as I couldn't work out if you were calling me an arse in German...LOL


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