The Lava Trolley: May 2006

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


27 May 2006

The Anne Geddes Nightmare Come True


I find this advert vaguely disturbing, in a sinister Cassius Coolidge-meets-Ira Levin in motion pictures kind of way.

Like, what's it trying to say? That only a baby has what it takes to discern velvety softness in toilet tissue? Or that large companies are actually run by kids who know crap? If it's the former, what's wrong with the usual commercials of the Johnson's Baby No-More-Tears genre?

...You know the type I'm on about...

Personally, I'm more inclined to believe the latter...I mean, seriously...Are people supposed to rush out to buy their product after being creeped out by this? On second thoughts, don't tell me...I'm almost afraid of the answer...

After all, if dogs can sell insurance, surely baby executives can prevail upon us the importance of toilet tissues that are gentle on skin.

Maybe I just have insufficient receptors vital in the transmission of certain media (specifically those that require the general lightening of pockets)...I can't help but anticipate the Omen theme tune each time this ad is shown...

I'm convinced the Kleenex Baby Entourage is really a demonic cult bent on taking over the world...Makes sense to start from the bottom, and there's no better place than the lavatory. (Of course, why has no one thought of this before? First, bathroom condiments. Next, chemical warfare. You see the relationship?) Nothing else explains the near-vacant looks on those faces that gaze adoringly upon the unlikely Cherub in Armani...

I shudder to think what its parents must be like...But wait, does this thing have parents? I can't decide what's worse - a fiendish changeling from some alternate Telytubby reality, or a brainwashed toddler Pied-Pipered away from his loving family.

I'm not even going to ask what this toilet paper's made of...

PS - Woohoo! Two blogs in a day! I'm on a bog roll here...sorry, blog, BLOG, I mean, blog roll...No, that's just too confusing...Look, let's just say I've gone on a blogging spree and leave it at that, ok?

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Savvy Sangaku Style

Not bad...not bad at all...

You can even get a matching bamboo monitor, keyboard and mouse!


This mod gets top points for that convenient sliding doors concept alone, just in case there's a need to dissect the innards of one's PC in a hurry...though strictly speaking, if the machine was built properly in the first place, such events should be infrequent.

But as pretty as this is (not sure if the blue lights go), I suspect it would look rather trite sitting in an Asian household...Novel for a comp, but the Japanese decor theme has been done to death.

Think I'll just stick to my jukebox idea...


25 May 2006

Is it becos' I is black?


It was a Crash more ways than one...

But then again, perhaps that's partly my own fault for being so ready to swallow all the hype. That'll teach me to believe Oscar winners/nominees deserve the awards bestowed on them.

I was expecting a film more profound than what Crash delivered, but was instead disappointed to find it utterly though the makers had to strive desperately hard just to prove a point. I can appreciate their use of cultural stereotypes, but for a story meant to mirror real-life experiences, Crash is less about true racism, than what people perceive to be racism...This isn't the first time such an attempt has been made...Nothing ground-breaking here, and I'm not sure if its treatment of the subject is what I'd call effective.

The sub-plots don't flow together very well, and despite reviews (and recommendations from friends who positively raved about it) proclaiming Crash to be pretty moving, I actually found myself cringing at the melodrama that unfolded before my eyes...Very OTT...The ending, in particular, completely ruined it for me...I was reminded of the very bad (and supposedly) tear-jerking Taiwanese dramas I was forced to endure as a child...When snowflakes are featured in a closing scene, you know it's definitely all over.

However, don't let my comments put you off watching the movie...It's still fairly entertaining (especially when TV offers far less that is worth watching). And if nothing else, Crash does demonstrate the triviality of certain social a roundabout way.

All in all, not terribly impressed. I just didn't buy it...Thank goodness I didn't pay to watch it on the big screen.

I'd give Crash a lukewarm 3-star rating, and that's pretty generous from me...I've yet to come across any movies that warrant 5 stars, and it's rare for one to even merit 4.

Anyhow, whilst we're on the topic of culture and racism, I've been recently informed (and quite stroppily too!) that the term 'coloured' is considered offensive (just as spastics have now got to be classed as 'special'), though I'm slightly nonplussed as to what persons would make up the outraged party...The way things are, I'm amazed the 'fairer sex' isn't already up in arms (or rather, banners, ribbons, campaign slogans, and the like) over such disparaging references, or that the manufacturers of Dyson haven't made legal waves in a battle to remove 'hoover' from colloquialism...That's the problem with getting pedantic...One could go on about it longer than Mrs Doyle and her cups of tea.

Not too long ago, I was caught up in a debate over cultural/political influences, and a somewhat taboo question was raised (sadly, not by me, though I was intrigued)...Research didn't get me very far (Google has failed me in this instance!), so I thought there might be an expert out there who can throw some light on this:

There's no denying that blacks have contributed a great deal to the world in general, but why is it that prior to colonisation and slavery, Africans (when it came to exploration and invention) did not evolve the same way as other ancient civilisations?

Caveat Lector - Don't read too much into this entry...The above is a genuine query.

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16 May 2006

The New Wonderdrug


Is it over-the-counter, or do I need a prescription?