The Lava Trolley: October 2005

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


09 October 2005

Too PC or not too PC?


"A West Yorkshire hospital has banned visitors from cooing at new-born babies over fears their human rights are being breached and to reduce infection."
See what I mean about this whole human rights thing going too far? It's getting bloody ridiculous!

'Tis all starting to resemble a scene from the Life of Brian...

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea...Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the 'right' to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother...sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Perhaps babies should next be given the right to vote, and animals the right to own artillery. Speaking of which...

"Traditionally owners have put deterrents to trespassers on their wall or fence and if it is a party wall just on their side. You will often have seen spikes or broken glass or barbed wire on the top of walls.

However, if the wall or fence borders the public highway, then the local authority has powers to protect the public by having the deterrent removed if it thinks it could cause a danger to highway users. If the deterrents causes a nuisance or by your negligence injures a passer by, then they may be able to sue you."

Oh goody, I could make a career out of this - "Your honour, I would like to claim compensation from the owner of that property for having a garden wall as it was in the way when I drove my car onto his land..."

It came to my attention awhile back that if a burglar were to injure himself whilst climbing over your fence or garden wall, he could sue you for any damages incurred during the course of his 'employment'...After all, us civilians have no right to defend our homes in any way that could threaten the career of these poor innocent criminals.

"Unmoved by popular opinion, or a spate of brutal attacks on householders, the vice-president of the Superintendents Association insists no change in the law is needed, only better locks. In case of a burglary, he urges families to retreat to a 'secure room' there to await police help. On no account are they to arm themselves with anything, or approach the intruder. Someone might get hurt. If that someone is the intruder the resident can be sued by the burglar, and will certainly be prosecuted by the state."

That's actually quite laughable, if not for the fact that this sort of thing actually does happen...So let's get this straight...Someone is trying to make away with my hard-earned possessions (which I have worked for almost every hour that god's sent), but I am to stand aside and let that person have his/her way?

Fuck, no... Image hosted by

Anyone who sets out to destroy the lives of others deserves everything he/she gets...I have no sympathy for people like that...

Don't want to be shredded by barbed wire? Simple, don't trespass...Don't want your head battered by a homeowner's Maglite? Easy, don't invade his home...Don't want to have your limbs broken? No problem, just don't attack anyone for no apparent reason. NO excuses! Did anyone not understand that?

It's hardly rocket science...

"We don't believe in vigilantism or excess violence."
Just how is defending one's life, loved-ones, liberty and property 'vigilantism'?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time I checked, the UK was a democracy...So much for having any rights if we have a zero-stance against criminals, and simply allow them to walk all over us.

A few weeks ago, I was set upon by a perv (after work) whilst waiting for my train at a fairly deserted station...Needless to say, I was pretty shaken after that, and was naturally inclined to adopt certain measures for self-preservation purposes...

Since it is not strictly legal to be walking around with sharp pointy objects, or instruments that shoot anyhing other than paper streamers (Setting off fireworks in residential areas is perfectly fine...Really, it's ok for kids and pets to get burnt to death or disfigured year after year...Stop making such a big deal out of it), I thought pepper sprays might be a good idea.

But, guess what??? They're illegal...Oh, what a surprise...

The only other alternative is some doodah like StoppaRed UV Spray.


"In an emergency situation you may be justified in directing the thick formula into the face of the offender to distract them while you attempt to escape. You should only do this if you feel you are justified in doing so - the formula is 'eye safe' and has been made with the assumption that at some point it will be directed into the eyes of an offender and it will not damage or harm them in any way."

Ooooh, that's dead scary that...Bet hoodies are now quaking in their white Reeboks (probably stolen) for fear of being contaminated by a little face paint.


Even pepper spray and tear gas are not completely infallible, so what makes anyone think this puny device would work?

All it takes is for someone to grab you from behind...Once they've got you, having their vision temporarily obscured ain't gonna make them take the risk of letting you go...Besides, I'm not even sure the ID system works since it relies on the premise that attackers would first have to be caught, or that records of their past offences actually exist!

"The law-abiding citizen when confronted with a snarling example of criminality is at a disadvantage. One is armed, the other not...

But, I hear you say, what’s to stop criminals from using CS gas against innocent people? Nothing, but then crooks have a habit of using offensive weapons, regardless of their legal status, against blameless citizens. And misusing a spray or using it offensively could still count as a crime."

Well, I couldn't put it any better than that...It's about time someone did something to tip the balance in the favour of law-abiding citizens...

Right, where did I put my AK-47? Ah...there it is, under David's nuclear missiles...

Now...WHO'S THE DADDY? Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Related Articles:
Garden Law
Bashing Burglars
Let Us Spray

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07 October 2005

Dead, Deader, Deadest!


No idea how my morbid thoughts led to that heading, so don't ask...

Sorry I haven't been keeping everyone up-to-date on new stuff at my site...That's because there isn't anything new there...not yet anyway. If that made no sense at all, blame it on the long day I've had, involving quite a few technical issues (Can you say 'database obituary'?).

I will be uploading more new pics of myself and Zhouyi (me daughter) soon...I've just been very busy with work...Also been trying to get more freelance jobs that're design/editorial-related, and have a couple more shoots lined up as well...

The above is just one of my new images for a retro fashion spread by Photographer Liz Preston...Unfortunately, the story hasn't yet been completed as there are a couple more shoots to go...which means more standing around in the freezing cold for me with little bits of nothing on...Brrrrr...I want my mummy!!! Image hosted by

Other stuff to come are new additions to the Mystery Place, and possibly a few more Haikus...

For those who are feeling adventurous enough to explore new e-worlds, just click them Ruby Slippers...Feel free to suggest any sites which I can include in that ever-growing collection.

God, our bed looks sooooo inviting right now...but, no rest for the eternally damned!

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06 October 2005

You can do it...

...if you B & Q it!!!

This here is a pic of our new machine aka The Monolith aka Black Bastard...well, it's actually David's, but since what's his is mine and what's mine is mine blah-dee-blah etc know the score...

Yes, you don't have to tell me it looks a wee bit messy, but that's because it's work in progress...We're going to see if we can finish most of it this weekend (or rather, David will be...I'm just going to sit there and point out the mistakes he makes Image hosted by, then enjoy the fruits of his efforts when it's all up and running).

It's going to be a water-cooled system (pic shows PC before plumbing's been put in...we shall soon find out if it's going to be an aquarium of delights or a sewage system of crap Image hosted by ), and even without being overclocked, is still pretty damned powerful...Just thinking of the games we can play on there is already making me rub my hands in anticipation...

Anyhow, you are welcome to check out whatever progress we have made, and all comments will be much appreciated...However, only Gold Members at Bit-Tech can post replies to David's Project Blog ...The rest of us tight gits will just have to mingle with the Hoi Polloi of Geekdom in General Discussion...or simply click on the link Mr G has so kindly provided in his blog.

Oh, and have I mentioned that we're planning to take over the world?


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