The Lava Trolley: What a bummer!!!

The Lava Trolley

Or is it the lavatory???

...Either case, this little nook on blogasphere is the natural dumping ground for the sort of crap that erupts
when you find a wee Chink in the Britworks...

But hey, I promise you this is steamingly hot shit...which is probably why it's all looking a bit brown!


15 May 2005

What a bummer!!!


Anyone who doesn’t know what kind of person I am might accuse me of indulging in a bitch fest after reading this…but only if they completely missed the point. Whilst I may not be a die-hard fan of Devon Aoki, I have nonetheless always viewed her as a rather attractive figure…There are not many out there who possess her striking features and that certain je ne sais quoi

Comments about her looks have ranged from descriptions of her as Nature's experiment with Down's Syndrome gone horribly wrong (David's words, not mine!), to a life-sized anime character off manga comicbooks...That is, people either love her or hate her. Below are just a few shots of the model/actress I rather liked…the latter happens to be from the cover of one of my fave transcultural fashion magazines – WestEast.

pic3 pic4

That Devon Aoki is part-Asian only adds to my admiration, since Orientals have been rather scarce in the international celebrity gene pool…

…which is why I was met with a sense of disenchantment when faced with the encounter of her gluteus maximus looming up on my screen upon visiting a fansite...


…This, purportedly, is Devon Aoki’s arse…Actually…What arse? Where? It just doesn’t seem to be ‘holding up’ (if you’ll pardon the pun), does it?

David had initially thought this derrière belonged to a man until I corrected him...Oh dearie dearie me…This photo does the poor girl’s image no favours. Either the photographer needs some lessons in creating flattering composites, or a trip to the gym for an uplifting experience is in order for Miss Aoki…and dare I suggest a high-calorie diet to boost the muscle-building sessions?

Yes, I am most aware that Aoki is human after all, and like the rest of us, has her flaws…but this surely, is something she can work on.

The bottom line is that if she can’t be bothered taking care of her body, particularly in a job where looks DO matter, she is in the wrong profession.

Photos courtesy of



  • At 22/5/07 05:00, Blogger Fake said…

    as if that ass would ever be mistaken for a guy's...either david was trying to make you feel entitled to your opinion, or you just made it up so you can continue your rant on a beauty who's flawlessness far surpasses yours. stop whining, your blogs suck

  • At 22/5/07 05:02, Blogger Fake said…

    not only that but you called her an ORIENTAL? you stupid ignorant bitch

  • At 24/5/07 11:38, Blogger Charme said…

    Rant? Whine?

    Look who's talking! I think your troll of a comment speaks for itself.

    My opinion was more in the nature of an observation...not everything I said was negative…In fact, some of it was rather complimentary, so I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you as far as jealousy goes. Regardless of David's thoughts on her appearance, I have always found Devon Aoki rather striking. That said, all the Prada bags in the world (which I'd only flog on eBay anyway) couldn't make me wish I looked like her…Sadly, no one is suggest otherwise is pretty juvenile, not to mention trite.

    No matter how you look at it, there is no way Aoki's arse in that image can be mistaken for something as pert, round and peachy as say, for example, Keyra Augustina's. Maybe you like that sort of thing, but why should you expect everyone to agree with you?

    Not quite sure what's offended you so greatly...We're talking about a woman who gets paid shed loads of money to keep her body in good condition, so it's part of her job to anticipate all manner of remarks on the way she looks. Besides, do you actually believe she cares what anyone thinks?

    By the way, you sure you should be calling yourself ‘Fake’? I would have thought 'Obssessed Fan' would be more appropriate (not to mention pedantic as easy it is to wind you up just by calling her Oriental instead of PARTLY-Oriental or Eurasian...I'd call you a ridiculously PC do-gooder, but for some reason, you don't quite strike me as the type)…I'm not surprised your blog isn’t accessible by the general public. I shudder to think what it would be like if your current offering is anything to go by.

    Just out of curiosity, do you regularly foam at the mouth? What a dreadful condition...I do hope you feel better soon.

    Still, thank you for your valuable, but mostly pointless, input...My day has been very much enlightened by your words. Actually, I rather enjoyed this exercise, but work beckons, so I shall now leave you to wank and worship at the altar of the goddess that is Devon Aoki.

  • At 24/5/07 21:02, Anonymous David Gregory. said…

    She looks down syndrome. If you don't like my comments.. errr... tough.

  • At 11/7/07 22:15, Blogger sevenwarlocks said…

    I have often heard it said that women are more critical of women’s appearance than are men, and I think your comments demonstrate this. Devon is, without question, unusual looking, but I certainly see great beauty. I don’t have any problem with the appearance of her backside. Yours either, for that matter.

  • At 11/7/07 23:29, Blogger Charme said…

    Devon's beauty lies mainly in her unusual features.

    I have also noticed that women tend to dress more for each other than for men. But yes, it is very true that the average man doesn't particularly care (within reason) what a woman looks like...He's just not terribly fussy. Unless that man happens to be my other half of course.

    He's finicky as hell...I've heard him call women who are merely a UK size 12 'fat'. As for myself, I don't think size matters so much as proportion. It is, in fact, very rare for me to criticize a woman's looks. Out of my entire blog over the past few years, I can think of only 2 instances when I have done so.

    PS - Since I'm attached to it, I rather like my arse too.


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