A chav by any other name...

"Directors of a travel company that sent customers an email
promising chav-free holidays have defended the move.

The email, sent out by Activities Abroad, included a list of names
travellers were likely to encounter on one of their holidays and another list
they would be less likely to meet.

Among the unlikely names were Britney, Kylie-Lianne, Dazza and
Shannon. The likely names included John, Sarah, James and Alice."

Taking the piss out of names may have been a seriously bad marketing ploy, but far more outrageous is this ridiculous 'Hug-a-Hoodie' attitude (even assuming that he doesn't try to knife you first).

"If I ever had any doubts (which I haven't) about banning the C-- word in
our house, I need look no further. Don't ever let anybody tell you that class is
not a live issue in Britain."

Of course class is an issue...It will always be an issue. Barring a few exceptions, people who have common interests and similar lifestyles will always gravitate towards one another. It's a natural part of our social existence. Deal with it.

You can't polish a turd...you can take the chav out of a council house, but you can't take the council house out of a chav...We've heard it all before. To consider the Biancas and Dazzas of this country part of the working class is a travesty for obvious reasons. It is, in fact, an insult to decent and hard-working people who may not have a lot of money, but somehow manage to educate themselves and earn the respect of those around them.

"The e-mail triggered a wave of publicity and controversy after it was
reported the email had offended some of the company's customers.

According to the company, only 18 people from the 24,000
emailed have written to complain about the e-mail."

This show of support is misplaced quite simply because it's encouraging the criminal underclass for, make no mistake, that's exactly what chavs are, and it is a reputation that they entirely deserve, so sympathy is wasted on them.

It's not what they wear, what accent they've got, or how much money they make, but the kind of behaviour they display that gives chavs all this bad press: anti-social, lazy and inconsiderate at the best of times; violent, destructive and dangerous at their worst. They never contribute; they only take. If all-the-above doesn't apply to you, then terribly sorry, you're just not quite chav material. Simple as. A high income, or lack of it, doesn't even come into the equation.

Whitewashing is never going to work...You can put a spin on any situation, but pandering to the politically-correct in this case still isn't going to make most of us want to walk on the same side of the road as a group of hoodies, let alone go on holiday with them.

Related Articles:
Chav-Free Holidays Defended
Firm Defends Chav-Free Holidays

Eat fish...

...It's good for you!

The above image shows the side of a fresh fish shop in the coastal town of Fleetwood, near where we live. Its sign never fails to tickle David and I everytime we pass it on one of our Mustang broom-broom trots. Last weekend, I thought it might be a good idea to take a picture of it in case it decides to disappear like everything else in this country.

This fish shop always reminds me of a song by Mr Scruff, simply entitled Fish, which is just as quirky and amusing in its own right. I sing it everytime David makes his scrummy fish pie, bopping along to the bit that goes "fish, fish-fish, fish-fish". It really needs to be sung to a special beat, and in a certain voice.

Perhaps this fishy motif only has special meaning to us because our entire household loves seafood (our kitty, Magic, included of course...though she never says no to any kind of food anyway), and fish features very regularly in our diet.

Indeed, fish is of great significance in our life, so much so that it has inspired the name of our soon-to-be-created 2v2 WoW Arena Team - Eating Fish...Two words that also make up some of the lyrics in that song by Mr Scruff. Sadly, a theme tune is not needful for our team, and we haven't even got a banner (yet)...However, I already know what our battlecry will be...

[Cue for Drumroll]

...FOR THE LOVE OF SALMON!!!!!!!!!!

This can also be shortened to 'FOR SALMON!'...Hopefully, that will be the last thing our opponents hear before they let a Death Knight and Druid beat the shit out of them (even if it is because they're too busy pissing themselves laughing).

*This post is dedicated to all the fish that have died for our cause.


PS - To find out more about my life in Azeroth, I would like to direct you to my Gaming Profile on Gax, which contains another (brand-spankingly-new) blog of mine entirely about the World of Warcraft. Alternatively, you can click the Gax Badge in the right-hand panel of this page.

Last Bastion of Marketing Ambiguity?

Cheap and cheerful as it'd always made itself out to be, I could never quite work out the point of Woolies (though 'wooly' would be a better description of its image).

Usually, when you're looking to buy a certain item, a brand name or store would immediately spring to mind. Most of us would visit our favourite supermarket if we needed groceries, go somewhere like Comet or Curries for electronics, and perhaps Ikea or Argos for furniture etc...But think of Woolworths, and I can come up with no good excuse to go there (not even for sweets), except as a last resort when I have been everywhere else.

I was among the vultures when the closing down sale began, and found nothing I actually wanted (massive discounts notwithstanding). If ever there was a giant storage facility where people could just dump all their useless unwanted gifts, it would look like Woolworths. Pretty ironic then, that it would go bust at this time of year...I've never seen the place so busy!

My home this Crimbo has been the complete opposite. A quiet and chilled-out festive season can sometimes be a good thing, but not when the reason is lack of money. I did try my best to keep the Christmas Spirit alive, but all I got for my efforts were complaints regarding the X'mas music I was inflicting upon the poor souls (Bah! Humbug!) around me.

Apart from a few highlights (eg. masked ball, night visit to the Halo etc), the back-end of 2008 was pretty uneventful on a personal level...We just did the usual (eg. turkey dinner at friends, visiting family, cinema trip etc)...nothing majorly exciting at all. But then again, it has probably been more quiet and depressing for some others than it has been for us, so perhaps we should count ourselves lucky. I am debating whether I ought to even bother uploading any videos/photos of our non-celebration this year, and can't quite make up my mind.

Oh well, if I do decide to do that eventually, I will update this post...In the meantime, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year...Chin up! It can't be this miserable forever, even if the weather says otherwise!

UPDATED: 10 January 2009 @ 17:14

Right...I have uploaded some pics to my Flickr Collections, and they include snapshots of a new haircut which I got yesterday...My hair was getting too long and too difficult to maintain, so I've gone back to having a bob again (until I get bored next time and change it to something else). I have also added a X'mas home video to my YouTube page, but the same one is on Flickr as well.

PS - Just realised this is my 100th post!!! WOOT! Quite appropriate really, since that's just one more than the number of years Woolies needed to last a century in trading.

Abuse from Top-Down?

"A father is demanding police say sorry for jailing him
overnight after he smacked his son on the leg.

Mr Frearson said he had told Harry to stay with him
because it was dark. But the boy left the shop, and
after a 10 minute search he was found in a nearby park.
He smacked him once on the back of his leg, and the
two returned home."

We imprison a father who genuinely cares about what happens to his son, but do nothing to stop the months of torture done to Baby P. Clearly, a system that doesn't know where to draw the line.

Only in Great Britain...

Relevant Articles:
Dad Jailed After Smacking His Son
When Should a Child Go into Care?

Spotted in PC World

What a bargain...You can't get anymore basic than that!
It was the last one on the shelf too, so grab it before it's gone!!!

Wrong Side of 30

My 31st came and went with very little to mark it...Nope, not even a single line on my face...not yet at any rate!

The celebration (if it could be called that) was very low key (and low cost) at my request, but the highlight was definitely a trip to the Panopticons...and a scrummy dinner of Lancashire Hot Pot (a friend's speciality) rounded off with strawberries and chocolate fondue (consumed whilst watching the very first Singapore Grand Prix). I received a new gaming mouse from David, which arrived slightly belated, but I forgive him!

Our first stop was meant to be the Halo, but we got lost along the way. I didn't mind that so much as it is best viewed at night rather than high noon. My personal favourite's the Singing, Ringing Tree...After much discussion about this landmark with some friends at work, we've decided that it would've been more appropriate for it to have been named the Humming Cyclone, for obvious reasons. If you do a search on YouTube, you'll probably come across something which will play its haunting melody.



It was heartening to discover such beauty not so very far from Burnley, a drive through which proved rather harrowing...Some areas actually looked like the very depths of shellshocked hell. It didn't help that there was a big match on that day...Football having the tendency to bring out the rowdier elements of our community, and all that.

The Panopticons are a fairly new addition to the Pennines, but already you can see how industrious the vandals have been. Fortunately, the graffiti doesn't show up all that well on our photos...Let's just say I'm not a big fan of the urban look.



David took quite a few interesting pictures, and left the less arty snapshots to our mate Andy, who was also in charge of video. You can view more of the photos here.

The various features of the Panopticons are not signposted very well, so you have to do a bit of research to get specific directions to each of them. It can be a bit of a pain, but then again, I quite like the idea of fewer people being able to find these places...Makes the area more tranquil somehow.

No idea where our next daytrip will take us, but I'm sure I'll come up with something...Maybe the Forest of Dean Scupture Trail, or perhaps we could go check out the Wishing Fish Clock!

When god closes a door...

...Somewhere he opens a window.

Either that, or he was taking the day off when Photoshop was invented.

"The Archbishop of Canterbury said the
'pieces are on the board' to resolve the
row over homosexuality which threatens
to split the Anglican Church."

Enter a new paradox - the Gay Priest.

Then again, this sort of thing has been going on for generations...Clearly, there's much more taking place in the closet/booth than confessions!

Homosexuality and Christianity just don't make the best of partners (in bed or out of it), and although I bear no ill will against gays (far from it), having one as leader of a church community would simply be too hypocritical.

Let's just reserve this oxymoron for the occasional comedy gag (or as a name for the next new pub that opens in Blackpool).

Related Articles:
Way Ahead Found in Church Gay Row
Hymns Drown Out the Heckler

Jay-Z Who?

"Rapper Jay-Z stuck one finger up to Noel Gallagher
last night by starting his Glastonbury set with
a version of the Oasis hit Wonderwall – and
playing electric guitar."

I'd be the first to admit I'm not a fan of Hip Hop these days, and was a little baffled to hear one of its big names had been signed up to front Glastonbury. "WTF???", was my first thought. I think I'd have been less surprised to hear Oasis had won a MOBO award.

Muddy fields and tents are the sort of things I normally associate with the rocking Boho / Hippy / Indie crowd (how does one even begin to differentiate between them?), and I wasn't quite sure how bling would fit into the scene. But then again, things change. It's all about what's popular now (and what brings in the £££). If people want the likes of Jay-Z...Give it to them, I say.

Well, that was then...before the event. Jay-Z's childish reaction has only reinforced the opinions of those who found his presence at Glastonbury more than a bit incongruous. A shame really, since I was interested in finding out if Jay-Z could pull off a decent version of Wonderwall, and actually believed his take (if done properly) might prove refreshing. Sadly, his performance almost beat Amy Winehouse at the slurring game. Ironically, it also boosted sales for Oasis post-Glasto.

I should've known better...Glastonbury has always been a spectacle, and it's just got worse.

Sure, Gallagher's perspective was a bit harsh (though it has to be said that no criticism was actually directed at Jay-Z himself, or his music), but it was fair comment and one that was shared by many. Yet, instead of proving him wrong, Jay-Z turned it into a dissing match...Now, how is that about the music?

Related Articles:
Jay-Z at Glastonbury
Jay-Z Plays 'Wonderwall' at Glasto

Shades of 24

I don't pretend to understand much about American politics...I can barely keep up with what happens in my own country, nevermind the US!

For all I know, the election over there has been just as much of a farce as our Ken vs Boris popularity contest in London, with the public simply voting for the lesser of two evils (not like they were spoilt for choice...to be fair, I would have gone for Boris floppy-hair Johnson too).

Honestly speaking, I know nothing about the party or ideals that Obama represents, but there is something heartwarming about him being nominated for presidency (and most likely taking on the role) even if some people are probably only supporting him because he is black (or rather, half-black)...After all, it'll take a real retard to botch things up after Bush, and I'd like to think the world is in short supply of that!

Hopefully, this will mean that the fight against racism has come a long way...Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into it, a side effect of watching faaaar too many episodes of 24!

Whatever you feel about this, have a Happy Independence Day anyway, and good luck with the polls.

Relevant Material:
US Elections 2008
Survey USA
Barack Obama
Obama for America
Clinton Gives Way for Obama

Come Fly with Me

Davey had his first flying lesson today!!!

Ok, it's not technically his first since he has sort of fooled around (for a few minutes) with the controls of a friend's plane not long ago (and often plays FlightSim)...But this time, the hours he clocks in the air would count towards a PPL...and he was also allowed to bring me along as a passenger, together with our friend, Andy!

We did record quite a lot of the lesson on video (plus aerial photos), but the file would need condensing before I can upload it...so in the meantime, here are just a few preliminary shots of us taking to the skies in a Piper Cherokee.


Here's a pic of us waiting in the Pilots' Lounge (with some trepedition on my part).


There's Cap'n Gregory, cans and all, ready for take-off.


Andy shitting himself when Davey takes over the controls...


...And me looking increasingly dubious, whilst scanning the aircraft for a quick escape route.

It was pissing it down when we first clambered into the plane, but fortunately for us, the sun soon came out again...All in all, it went rather well (meaning we all got out of the experience alive, and in one piece...my jeans even stayed blue!), although it did get quite bumpy at times (and boy, you can really feel the movement of the plane as compared to your average commercial flight)!

The instructor was very good and amazingly relaxed (so I really recommend ANT)...He must have thought David could hack it because Cap'n Gregory was actually allowed to land the plane! Oooh!!!

Riiiiight, everybody out of the way...MY turn to fly now!!!